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Idiot Feature: Dry January

Wednesday 14 January 2015
Words Ailis Mara

Dry January, those few weeks where many attempt to stay sober during the most depressing, and contradictorily, quite wet, month of the year. And then people wonder why their January blues heighten in correlation with their levels of sobriety. A level which in turn reaches new peaks over the month meaning you revert back to having some sort of virgin liver when the 31 days are up.

Here at Spindle, we arrived back to the studio for the commencement of our dry January to a large bottle of Sailor Jerry’s spiced rum… Which was almost like a sign from the alcohol God’s, you could just hear them on your shoulder whispering, “don’t be silly babe, you know you won’t last a week, let alone a month”. And it would be slightly blasphemous to ignore a sign from the alcohol God’s, no?

The terrible thing is that I broke my dry January without realising I did so. Whilst minding my own business at London Collections: Men this weekend, I was enjoying presentations by Hentsch Man and Belstaff, as well as shows by YMC and Agi + Sam, when I was confronted by ‘free drinks’. And to someone who is still somewhat in a “student” mindset, I jumped at the chance of ‘free’ anything (no judging here please). Without a second thought I grabbed mine and went for a second soon after. It wasn’t until I was regaling anecdotes of my weekend at LCM to friends, may I add it was after boasting “I haven’t actually had a drink this month, I may as well do dry January, I’m amazing blah blah blah”… That they continued to point out my large mistake. Who was I to know accepting free drinks meant I broke dry January? I’m only human.

But why do people do it in the first place. I understand the “gotta save after this massive crimbo splurge” malarkey, but where is the fun in that? Who wants to go for a drink with someone who orders a diet coke? Or worse… tap water. Whilst you’re there with your cocktail exploding with fruit and a couple of sparklers sparkling out of it with an expression of guilt and happiness spread across your face like a confused bee in winter. Do you know what, you go ahead and order as many cocktails as you want. I now rename ‘Dry January’ as ‘Wet January’. Fill your boots with liquid my lovelies.