So last Tuesday I ended up with the excruciatingly difficult task of serving burgers to fashion’s finest. Now I’m not the most gracious of people and my clumsiness usually serves me a daily tumble, scrape or graze, so this could only go one way. Turns out it didn’t go that way at all, it went an all together unexpected way! Myself, Doyenne Drag mother, Jonny Woo, and the rest of my motley crew of Kweens had been hired to basically cause trouble at a fabulous fashion week wrap party! Buns being chucked at Pam Hogg’s table and slut dropping for Gareth Pugh followed naturally. THEN it happened: Katy Perry turned up! Well it was a fight to the death for her attention but I got there and I can tell you the following: she chain smokes like Dot Cotton, she is scared of drag queens and her creative director has a big one! We’ll leave it at that.
So after floating around in my post-Perry and post-prosecco hangover I thought it only right to drag myself out of bed Friday night for my sister’s birthday – Jodie Harsh was turning 45 and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Spice Girl, check, HOT men on tap, check, me vomiting in a cab, check! It was such an amazing night but I was disgusting as usual – sometimes I ask why I even get invited to these things. I spent the entire night grinding on boys and thinking I was in Little Mix, EPIC FAIL.
It was decided then I needed to go somewhere this weekend where I would be appreciated, celebrated even; Liverpool, here I come! It was that time of month where I dash up to Liverpool for our Sink The Pink residency at Garlands. Anyone that has ever been to the Wag Isle will know what I mean when I say this lot invented partying. This month we came loaded with a DJ set from Jodie Harsh, and the crowd were possibly the best yet but once again I made a right dick of myself! The low point was bending over on stage in a jock strap and trying to sing a Beatles song out my ass – oh, actually maybe it was pushing my wife, Miss Amy Zing through the club in a shopping trolley and knocking polished girls down like pins in a bowling alley, strike! Actually it was probably waking half naked in a kitchen but I think I’ll leave it there. From the gutter up? More like from the gutter! Sink the Pink this Saturday and with the theme being Bad Taste there is only way this is heading…
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